The Leader of the Band

Dad in the 80's in Pollock Pines

My Dad was many things. It is very tough to think of how to let you know what he was to me. He was certainly a flawed person. Looking at the span of his 86 years he definitely made some mistakes, some perhaps difficult to forgive. He was addicted to alcohol, especially in his later years. Alcohol turned him into a demon at times, and those are my worst memories of my father.

The most important memories to me of my Dad however, are rooted in my childhood. My earliest memories are of a vibrant young man, always a smile on his face, who exuded love for me. He made me feel special, and worthwhile, At the time, I just remember feeling good about myself, and having a powerful attachment to my Daddy. I can even remember thinking to myself that there was no way that I would ever leave home and start a life of my own. The idea of not being there in Dad's presence was just unthinkable.


 As I grew up, Dad imparted in me a belief that I could do anything that I put my mind to. He often talked about the "Power of Positive Thinking" as a key to success. I grew up "knowing" that I would have a successful life. Dad modeled this thinking for all of us boys from before we could even understand what was going on. In San Diego, he built a successful business as he and Mom were building their family. He was a Chevron Dealer, and sold gas, and vehicle service in the growing post war economy. Then he found his dream.

After getting involved with a local amateur theater group, he dreamed of a career in television and movies as an actor. Here was a successful business owner with a young wife and four young sons, half still in diapers, dreaming of leaving all of it behind to "break into the movies". That is what he did.

Dad broke into westerns in the 50's and had a
20 plus year career in movies and television.

We followed him soon after to "Hollywood", well North Hollywood anyway. Dad worked at all kinds of jobs as he beat the pavement, sneaking into studios to get established. He sold encyclopedias, insurance, cars, delivered newspapers, and eventually got into busting reinforcing iron. My point is, he showed us that you should follow your dreams, that you should stick with it and be flexible. Something would always work out.

What a role model he was as a father, and a husband. Later in his life, when booze got the best of him, he treated Mom badly. However, most of my memories as a child growing up were of how much Dad and Mom showed their love for each other. Their passion extended into fighting, yes, but somehow I always felt their relationship was solidly rooted in love and mutual respect.

This photo was taken during a family vacation in the 70's.

Dad played with us. He got down on our level and played with us. My friends always seemed attracted to my Dad. "He's cool" they would say. He was cool, but he set clear boundaries for us boys, and enforced them. We grew up with a clear idea of right and wrong, and a strong desire to do right.

Summers were fun in our pool. There was almost
 always an after work game or to to enjoy.

The last chapter in my Dad's life was very difficult. After Mom died, he fell deeper into the bottle, and nearly drank himself to death. My brothers and I got him to the hospital and off the "sauce". Withdrawal nearly killed him, and for a while I thought he would never get out of the hospital. He got better, but his mind was never the same. Thank god for brother Don. He took care of Dad, and allowed him to finish his life sober, and in his own house with those he loved. There is no greater gift that a son or daughter can give.

Good night Dad.

Dad is gone now, just a memory. So many wonderful memories, and as always in life some not so great. My Dad accomplished some exceptional things in his life. He made possible for me a wonderful life blessed with many tremendous material successes, a wonderful and enduring marriage, and four fantastic daughters that will always be the light of my life.

Thanks Daddy!