July 22nd, 2010, been back in the hospital since Friday the 16th. Went to the Doc's office and they found too much fluid in my pleural cavity, and in the sack around my heart. It was causing shortness of breath, and making me miserable. Doc thought after going over several tests, that I probably had approximately 3/4 of a liter of total fluid surrounding my heart and lungs.
On Sunday, they drained the right side of my chest with a pretty simple procedure where they numbed me up and poked a drain into my back. Sounds pretty bad, but it really didn't hurt. They drained 1 and 1/2 liters from the right side alone. No wonder I was having a little trouble. It made me feel better immediately!
Then came the worst part of this whole episode. I made a trip to "Pity City". Thankfully I did not stay long. Pity City is where all good victims go to whine about their lives. Suddenly, it seemed that I had no control over my life, and that I was forced to just sit there and cry. Poor me!! Why were all these bad things happening to me? What did I do to deserve all this? Would I ever get out of the Hospital? It was like I was in the bottom of a deep dark hole. Every bad thing that ever happened to me came flooding to mind. The more I thought about it, the more depressed I became. My nurse could see I was getting a shaky lower lip. He did his best to get me to understand that I had been through a lot, and should accept that. What his message was that I had a right to feel victimized.
Interestingly, his words made me realize that I had pulled the car over at the Pity City Cafe. Upon this realization, I had a short quick thought: I don't have to stay here! I chose to get the hell out of Pity City and live at choice. Almost instantly I felt better. Thought about the people I love, and love me, and as corny as it sounds I said to myself: I chose to live!
I have felt better every day. Surgery to drain the fluid from my heart and left lung cavity took place Monday. They pulled over 2 liters out, and later another 1 and 1/2 from my right side! That's a lot of gunk!
I have been blessed with talented nurses and doctors, and above all Kim has been here every day! Helping the nurses, feeding me, massaging my feet and legs, (not to mention my poor sore butt)! All my friends and family have been here to support me. Wow, what a great support group! Maybe, the lesson learned (or relearned) is that we all have our demons and our supporters. Too often it is so much easier to listen to the siren song of the victim voices, than to reach out and embrace our supporters.
So long Pity City! No reason for me to stick around, I'M OUTTA HERE!
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Hey, Sam-o:
ReplyDeleteYou are quite a writer! I am so glad to see that you are feeling up to blogging now. I understand your visit to "Pity City" more than you know, though my ailments are not life threatening. I call my down times "Pity Parties" and I think I am past that now. I thinks those side trips are a necessary part of the healing process. I am glad you have signed on to LIFE! I hope you are on your way home today--but only if you are our of danger. I worry about you living so far from the hospital and the demands of managing your "homestead". Please take good care and get your strength back. Your Rotary demands alone require that you be in good shape.
We sent you a book the other day which I found at a store in Rapid that sponsors Native American artists and features a library of collector quality history books. I hope you will enjoy reading this while you recover form this month of trauma and learning.
Love,
Sister Su